Today I would like to dedicate my blog to my mom ~
She was born on 1-13-39 ~ Friday the 13th (a very lucky day, I would say). Being the youngest of a family of 14 children.
She left her body on 11-21-93 (a young 54 year old) on a Sunday morning of a massive heart attact. I know that God called her home. It was her time.
I feel VERY blessed to have her as my mother. I know for sure she was my salvation growing up. She is a very special spirit. While she was here in body she was someone I continue to aspire to...
Some of her attributes includes ~
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE: As I reflect on this my feelings are mixed. I felt that love could have had some conditions. I do not feel her love extended to herself. The life she endured as a wife could have been different if she held herself in love. Others took advantage of her, belittled her, abused her and she loved them anyway. There are times I have felt if she loved us more that the things that went on inside our home would have never happened. If she would have loved herself more maybe she would be here today... Who's to say? I do know that I felt her love as a child and I still do as I journey rediscovering who I am authentically. Through my experience of who I thought she was has taught me to be different (a chain breaker). It is neither good or bad it is what it is.
AUTHENTIC SPIRITUALITY: This attribute for me is a big one! Even though my mother came from a strong religious background being a Latter Day Saint (Mormon). We were not active in the church. That could be because my dad did not support her in attending church. We did go sometimes when I was young and when I became a teenager I went because that was where all my friends went and to attend the social activities. I did feel that it was the right thing to do... I just could never comply to all that was expected of me to be an active member. Me being who I am felt VERY GUILTY not being able to live to those expectations. What my mother did was instill in me FAITH ~ THE POWER OF PRAYER ~ THE CONNECTION OF SPIRIT and THAT WE CAME FROM AND WILL RETURN TO SOMETHING MORE THAN THIS LIFE ~
When I married my husband and became a mother we decided to live the life as an active LDS family. We did an pretty good job of it for about 6 years and then we fell away. Since that time I lived with A LOT of guilt. It has only been recently... about 1 year or so that I have been able to release that quilt and fully give myself to MY AUTHENTIC SPIRITUALITY ~ Knowing that I am a child of God and that he loves me for who I am not for what religion I belong to. As I pray or meditate or focus on my Yoga poses I am more connected to spirit that I have ever been. I feel the love that Divine has for me and when I tap into that love I am guided to live my best life.
BEING IN THE PRESENT~ This attribute is amazing! As I was young I remember many times my mother dropping what she was doing to read a story or play house with us... one of my favorite things was her helping us make a play house out of sheets either in the house or outside. She would brush my hair just because... of course she would always want the favor returned. When she became a grandmother she would do the same for her grandchildren. My children loved spending time with her because when they did she gave herself 100% to being with them. Whether it be making cookies ~ watching movies and eating popcorn ~ sitting down on their level and being their playmate. That I absolutely love her for. I did not do very well being this for my own children. I find myself wanting to be for my grandchildren... It is something I have to try to be... my Mom never had to try... she just was.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM ~ thanks for being YOU!
I could go on but I choose to come to an end to this blog I just want to say to those of you reading this...
If a way of being makes you feel LESS THAN or GUILTY or CREATES UPSET then look at that feeling and go inside and decide if it is authentically yours. Is that WHO YOU REALLY ARE or SOMEONE THAT WHO YOU THINK YOU SHOULD BE. When you find your true self and release all the expectations of others. That is when you can live your TRUE PURPOSE. ~
Here is living your own life ~ Abundance I AM~
She was born on 1-13-39 ~ Friday the 13th (a very lucky day, I would say). Being the youngest of a family of 14 children.
She left her body on 11-21-93 (a young 54 year old) on a Sunday morning of a massive heart attact. I know that God called her home. It was her time.
I feel VERY blessed to have her as my mother. I know for sure she was my salvation growing up. She is a very special spirit. While she was here in body she was someone I continue to aspire to...
Some of her attributes includes ~
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE: As I reflect on this my feelings are mixed. I felt that love could have had some conditions. I do not feel her love extended to herself. The life she endured as a wife could have been different if she held herself in love. Others took advantage of her, belittled her, abused her and she loved them anyway. There are times I have felt if she loved us more that the things that went on inside our home would have never happened. If she would have loved herself more maybe she would be here today... Who's to say? I do know that I felt her love as a child and I still do as I journey rediscovering who I am authentically. Through my experience of who I thought she was has taught me to be different (a chain breaker). It is neither good or bad it is what it is.
AUTHENTIC SPIRITUALITY: This attribute for me is a big one! Even though my mother came from a strong religious background being a Latter Day Saint (Mormon). We were not active in the church. That could be because my dad did not support her in attending church. We did go sometimes when I was young and when I became a teenager I went because that was where all my friends went and to attend the social activities. I did feel that it was the right thing to do... I just could never comply to all that was expected of me to be an active member. Me being who I am felt VERY GUILTY not being able to live to those expectations. What my mother did was instill in me FAITH ~ THE POWER OF PRAYER ~ THE CONNECTION OF SPIRIT and THAT WE CAME FROM AND WILL RETURN TO SOMETHING MORE THAN THIS LIFE ~
When I married my husband and became a mother we decided to live the life as an active LDS family. We did an pretty good job of it for about 6 years and then we fell away. Since that time I lived with A LOT of guilt. It has only been recently... about 1 year or so that I have been able to release that quilt and fully give myself to MY AUTHENTIC SPIRITUALITY ~ Knowing that I am a child of God and that he loves me for who I am not for what religion I belong to. As I pray or meditate or focus on my Yoga poses I am more connected to spirit that I have ever been. I feel the love that Divine has for me and when I tap into that love I am guided to live my best life.
BEING IN THE PRESENT~ This attribute is amazing! As I was young I remember many times my mother dropping what she was doing to read a story or play house with us... one of my favorite things was her helping us make a play house out of sheets either in the house or outside. She would brush my hair just because... of course she would always want the favor returned. When she became a grandmother she would do the same for her grandchildren. My children loved spending time with her because when they did she gave herself 100% to being with them. Whether it be making cookies ~ watching movies and eating popcorn ~ sitting down on their level and being their playmate. That I absolutely love her for. I did not do very well being this for my own children. I find myself wanting to be for my grandchildren... It is something I have to try to be... my Mom never had to try... she just was.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM ~ thanks for being YOU!
I could go on but I choose to come to an end to this blog I just want to say to those of you reading this...
If a way of being makes you feel LESS THAN or GUILTY or CREATES UPSET then look at that feeling and go inside and decide if it is authentically yours. Is that WHO YOU REALLY ARE or SOMEONE THAT WHO YOU THINK YOU SHOULD BE. When you find your true self and release all the expectations of others. That is when you can live your TRUE PURPOSE. ~
Here is living your own life ~ Abundance I AM~